Question about development?!Help?

Okay so im 12.Yes 12 i know i know i shouldn't be worrying about my size and stuff but sorry to burst your bubble but i am haha(:Well like i know this sounds kinda stupid but i feel really umm left out?Like my friends have big and there always talking about and stuff.Well im only a 32a and there all 34a-36c.And I can't shop at some of the stores because there made for girls who have "big s."Yes yes i know, i dont want them,but the thing is i do.So please don't tell me you don't want them trust me.Well i want them and i want to feel the experience of not liking them.So is there anything i can do?Im wayyy to young to get implants and i would never do that.I don't really want cremes.And im not i repeat not stuffing my bra.!And also if it helps i haven't had a period but i propably will get it this year my doctor said.Oh yeah Happy new year!aand thank you(: