Tuesday, January 3, 2012

What would you do in this situation (last time asking, pls answer!)?

I think you're right in what you say in your last sentence, that's he purposely ignoring her so he doesn't have to deal with her, but what you need to try and work out is why doesn't he want to deal with her- uming that he just doesn't want to deal with her without a reason behind it is only half the picture. It's most probably got something to do with how her suicide attempt has made him feel- maybe he feels he's to blame somehow, that perhaps he let her down or hurt her in some way and now he's scared that other people, and her, will blame him; maybe he doesn't know how to deal with it, it's a big thing for anyone connected to her to try to understand and only 2 weeks into a relationship is too soon for him to know her well enough to feel comfortable around her and her friends and family; maybe he just doesn't know what to say or is too worried about saying the wrong thing to talk to her properly; maybe he just isn't ready for something as serious as this. I know it seems like he should be there for her, and that he should come back off his holiday to be with her, but perhaps he genuinely hasn't got any way of getting back, or maybe he wants to stay away because he doesn't feel like he should be intruding on her life at this time. I'm not saying that the way he's being is necessarily forgivable or understandable, I'm just saying he'd have to be pretty callous human being to just feel like he can't be bothered with her now- more than likely there is a reason behind his behaviour which you should try to work out before you condemn him. Try to put yourself in his shoes- if you had a boyfriend who attempted suicide 2 weeks after you'd met him, would you know what to say or do? People who've known people really well and for years who've tried to do this find it hard enough- in all likelihood this has scared him a bit, and many people's natural reaction to that is to stay away. The best thing you can do is keep in contact with him to let him know how she's doing and what's been happening and try to get out of him why he's keeping his distance like this, but be prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt- just because they slept together and have had an intense two weeks doesn't mean he feels he knows her to any depth as a person, and even if he did feel that, her suicide attempt has probably challenged how well he thinks he knows her.

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